AVOIDANCE IS A POWERFUL HABIT: Lesie’s Story (1)
Leslie was a thirty-three-year-old mother of two. Her eldest child had just entered the second grade and her youngest was in kindergarten. Leslie’s husband had a flexible work schedule, mostly working from home over the Internet. Years earlier, following the birth of her second child, Leslie had begun to experience symptoms of depression. She was diagnosed with postpartum depression at that time, and it was believed that her depression would improve with time and medication. It did, somewhat. She was able to take care of her children and even began meeting other mothers for strolls in the park with the baby and with her older child, who was three. But then, a number of major life events slowly brought her down again.
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When the baby was six months old, Leslie returned to work part-time. Her new employer allowed her to take extra time from work to take the children to see their doctor, but he was resentful about it. He implied that she was not able to do her job competently and would make statements like, “You only work twenty hours a week. Can’t you make appointments during your scheduled time off?” She did, except that sometimes there were emergencies when she needed to take the baby right away. She started arriving at work late because she dreaded the job.
Her husband would fix breakfast for their three-year-old while Leslie would remain in bed, waking up just enough to nurse the baby. Her husband did not want to push too hard, but he gently encouraged Leslie to get ready for work. She washed, dressed, and left the house later and later each day. Heavy traffic slowed her down, and she used the traffic as an excuse for her lateness. Her boss was increasingly annoyed with her. After a month of late days, he gave her a verbal warning.
The verbal warning resulted in Leslie dreading work even more. She thought that her boss disliked her, so instead of going to work and making sure that she got the job done properly, she began calling in sick. By the end of a year, Leslie had been written up twice for frequent absences. When she didn’t call in at all on one occasion, because her husband had an early meeting away from home and didn’t wake her up, Leslie was fired.
